Psychology, Shmycology

April 20, 2011 § Leave a comment

I happen to be in a class with my good friend, Tony, who also happens to be one of our fellow editors on this blog. The class is psychology, and one of the assignments was to write a brief explanation of how psychoactive drugs work. Here is the product of my creativity:

“T’been tu plikn’ak.”

That is my mission from my master, Qho K’aine. I must, in the form of a psychoactive drug, disrupt communication in the subject’s nervous system. Tony Freeman is the subject, and I will carry out my mission by altering neuro transmission in his brain.

I will begin with binding with his receptors. In doing this I can mimic the effects of his neurotransmitters and make his neurons fire without the normal stimulants.

Next, I will block Tony’s receptor sites. I will take away all his pain, but he’ll suffer for it later.

I will finish my job by unblocking his receptor sites and then block his neurotransmitters from reabsorbing. As a result of this, the effects of the neurotransmitters in the synapse will be INTENSIFIED! Tony will be suddenly overwhelmed (a sensory ‘buh-BOOM’) by my alterings.

There you have it, my mission accomplished. Tony will subsequently experience sweating, vomiting, shaking, rage, rage, and narcolepsy in withdrawal from my psychoactive powers.
Now you know how psychoactive drugs work. You’re welcome!

Happy National Pot Day!

– Jay


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