The Curse of the Bunny

May 6, 2011 § 1 Comment

It’s currently Thursday, 2:22 PM. Which would be true if it was. Tony is rocking back and forth on the floor, Jay is rocking back and forth on a rocking chair.

I am currently otherwisely occupied by terrorists.

They’re not very nice terrorists. They stole my chocolate bunny.

It all started at exactly a week or a couple days ago at sometime in the morning. Or afternoon. I was just about to bite into the sweet sweet Russell Stover chocolate bunny I acquired from my local CVS, when suddenly…..

…I realized I hadn’t taken it out of the plastic box yet, and decided it would be quite foolish of me to try to eat the plastic box along with the bunny. So I took the bunny out of the box, and suddenly a ninja-terrorist (or ninjist) jumped through the ceiling onto my head!

For a moment, he just sorta stood there. Looking all confused and bewildered, like he didn’t intend to make me nearly soil my britches. However, I knew better. So I just looked up (a very difficult task when a ninjist is standing on one’s head), stared right into his soul and growled: “I KNOW BETTER.”

This must have snapped him out of his little charade, because instantly he jumped off my head and snatched my chocolate bunny. This made me extraordinarily angry. Then, in true ninjist fashion, he left, without saying a word.

Three days went by (or perhaps four), and no sign of the dastardly criminal. Also no sign of the chocolate bunny, or a drywaller to fix the drywall that the ninjist destroyed. That’s how you know if it’s a true ninjist by the way, as opposed to not one. Ninjists never send repairmen to repair the damage they cause.

Which is actually rather childish, when you think about it. I mean, come on, you stole my chocolate bunny, why not at least pitch in to patch the ceiling? The ceiling got nothing against you. Apparently my chocolate bunny did, but not my ceiling.

So I started the hunt for my chocolate bunny. I searched high and low for weeks, and found nothing. No ninjist, no bunny. I was starting to give up hope. When suddenly…..

A WHOLE HERD OF NINJISTS STARTED PARADING DOWN THE STREET. WITH GIANT SLINGSHOTS.

Which begs the question, is it “ninjists”, or “ninjist” for the plural of the word? Debate that below in the comments.

I recognized the leader ninjist’s soul, and brazenly approached him. “You stole my BUNNY.”

Then he recognized my distinctive aura of previous chocolate bunny ownership, and brazenly placed me in a giant slingshot. Then, he threw the slingshot as far as he could see.

This ended up with me blasting through a certain wall like the Kool-Aid man. It was then Thursday, 2:22 PM. Which would be true if it was. Tony was rocking back and forth on the floor, Jay was rocking back and forth on a rocking chair.

I never got back my chocolate bunny.

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