A South American Escapade
May 17, 2011 § Leave a comment
I have a dream…
[Epic voice off]
Er… had a dream.
It all began in Venezuela. Or was it Bolivia? I don’t really know. It was one of those countries down there. You know… The one Hugo Chavez is El Presidenté of.
How do I know this? Well, I was sitting in a chair… Across from Hugo Chavez.
At first, not a word was said. I stared into his dark, beady eyes, and he stared into mine. My eyes aren’t beady like his, so obviously he won the staring contest. I like to blame it on my eye contacts which inconveniently happened to be feeling a little dry right then.
I never realized how much a blink can break the ice. I could just feel the tension melt when I revealed that one little weakness within myself.
“You want a smoke? I have a Cuban just for you!” Chavez said.
Before I could answer, he snapped his finger and in walked a man…
I’d never seen such a mystery. A Cuban who appeared to have a lush beard, and no facial hair at the same time!
While I was still pondering over this mystery, I forgot to accept or politely decline this Cuban. Chavez was therefore offended by my lack of manners and proceeded to pull out a knife and clean his teeth with it, while his guard shot me in the head.
End of dream.